10 Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

By:
Liz Claiborne's Women's Work

What do you do if you think your friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, but you're not sure? Go with your instincts -- you probably wouldn't be concerned without reason. Here are some signs to look for that might indicate an abusive relationship:

1. When your friend and her husband or boyfriend are together, he acts very controlling and puts her down in front of other people.
2. He acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to her, especially men.
3. She becomes quiet when he is around and seems afraid of making him angry.
4. She stops seeing her friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated.
5. She often cancels plans at the last minute.
6. He controls her finances, her behavior and even whom she socializes with.
7. You see him violently lose his temper, striking or breaking objects.
8. She often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations she offers don't quite add up. (Sometimes you won't see any bruises, as batterers target their blows to areas that can be covered with clothing.)
9. She has casually mentioned his violent behavior but laughed it off as a joke.
10. Her child is frequently upset or very quiet and withdrawn and won't say why.

Relationship abuse is a crime. Just like robbery or rape. If you see or hear an assault in progress, call 911. If you are outside when you see a woman being assaulted on the street or in a car, write down the license plate number and/or the location of the assault in progress and find the nearest phone to call the police. These situations can be dangerous, so whatever you do, be sure to keep yourself safe. But do something! Don't assume that someone else has already taken care of it. Survivors of abuse say that when no one acknowledged that they saw the abuse or tired to help, it made them feel even more isolated and alone.