People may have trouble recognizing that they are in an abusive relationship. Recognizing abuse can be especially hard for an individual who has lived with it for many years, sometimes in multiple relationships. As a result of ongoing abuse, victims may be in denial and be unaware that certain behavior is unacceptable. They might also erroneously think that they bring it on themselves by misbehaving or not living up to an abuser’s expectations.

There are various warning signs that may indicate an abusive relationship. These include:

• Any type of physical abuse, such as slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking or punching and any type of sexual abuse (e.g., rape, inappropriate touching).
  
  
• Controlling all aspects of a person’s life, including personal finances, how they dress, who they go out with, what they say in public and constant accounting of a person’s time.
  
  
• Frequent humiliation. For instance, if a partner belittles a person but says that they are doing it out of love.
  
  
• Threatening harm or death if the person tries to leave the relationship.
  
  
• Twisting the truth to make it seem as if the person is to blame for their abusive actions.
  
  
• Constantly becoming jealous or angry when one wants to spend time separately with friends or other loved ones.

Recognizing someone else is being abused is equally important, especially if victims are in denial and do not realize the life-threatening consequences of their situation.

Signs that might indicate a friend or loved one is in an abusive relationship include:

• Unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains or other marks on the body indicative of battery.
  
  
• Excessive guilt, fear or shame for no apparent reason.
  
  
• Extreme secrecy and/or withdrawal from friends and family.
  
  
• Avoidance of school, work and social events with excuses that do not seem to make sense.