Adolescence is a time of self-discovery in which young people aim to define their place in the world. During childhood, children depend entirely on parents for economic and emotional support and direction. As adolescence progresses, teenagers begin to separate emotionally from parents, and learn how to become independent and make important decisions about school, career and personal relationships.

Parents and other caregivers can better help teenagers achieve independence by becoming informed about healthy adolescent development as well as by learning how to find the resources that can help if the child veers off track. Individuals can find information on adolescence and adolescent development in schools, libraries or bookstores, by consulting a physician, and on the Internet.

Also, taking a course on parenting can be beneficial for parents of children of any age. Many colleges, universities, mental health facilities and community centers offer such courses. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or a licensed family therapist, may be able to provide referrals for parenting courses.   

Other tips that can help parents and other caregivers promote healthy adolescent development include:

• Discuss important topics in a timely fashion. It is recommended that topics such as puberty, sex, masturbation, sexual health, contraception, assault, the dangers of gangs, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs should be discussed in a calm, open manner and preferably before a child reaches early adolescence – sometime during middle childhood. Adolescents are at increased risk for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Providing accurate information increases the likelihood that teens will act responsibly.
  
  
• Stay involved in an adolescent’s life, while respecting their need for privacy. Getting to know a teen’s friends and their parents may be helpful. Regular communication between parents can help create a safe environment for all teens in a peer group, without making them feel as if they are being closely monitored.
  
  Also, communication with teachers and other school officials on a regular basis is important. Parents can help to demonstrate the value of education and ensure children receive appropriate help (e.g., tutoring) when necessary. A positive relationship with a parent or other adult is an important protective factor for teens as they grow and explore.
  
  
• Talk with adolescents often and encourage them to express their feelings and thoughts. Avoid being judgmental when they open up about their experiences and feelings. Connected children are generally happier and do better in school and in life.
  
  
• Enforce disciplinary rules that are age appropriate. As teens mature, parents will likely need to adjust a teen’s curfew, dating privileges and other rules to encourage growing independence while continuing to maintain health and safety.
  
  
• Provide teenagers with positive feedback as well as opportunities to succeed. Treat teens with kindness and respect and avoid being overly critical. Parents who help adolescents discover and develop individual strengths are also fostering the seeds for positive self-esteem.
  
  
• Work with teens – especially those age 11 to 13 – to become more aware of the media and how to use it appropriately. For instance, discuss what TV and movies to watch and what computer games to play. Also, become aware of the music they listen to, magazines they read and Internet web sites they frequent. Some music, movies and other types of mass media can be sexually explicit and/or portray negative messages including violence against women. Whenever possible, parents should have frank discussions with their teenagers regarding such topics with an emphasis on attitudes and behaviors that can be detrimental and should not be emulated.
  
  
• Ensure that adolescents get adequate nutrition, sleep and exercise. A healthy lifestyle helps to establish good mental and physical well-being.
  
  Also, teenagers should get yearly check-ups with a primary care physician, preferably an adolescent health specialist. These medical practitioners can help teens and young adults with the complex physical, behavioral and emotional healthcare needs – from physical exams and immunizations to reproductive and mental healthcare. Preventive health visits during adolescence can offer an opportunity for physicians to educate teenagers and their parents on what comprises normal puberty including menstruation.
  
  
• Be a positive role model. The best way to raise adolescents who are loving, decent and respectful is to demonstrate the values and behavior one hopes they will develop.
  
  
• Accept personal feelings and be patient. It is normal for parents to feel bewilderment, anger and various other emotions during the teen years. Parents are encouraged to keep in mind that most children weather the growing pains of adolescence successfully and become capable adults.