I'm 18, and ever since I can remember, I've been afraid of the dark. I can't stand being alone in a house or having the dark surround me. When I go to sleep, I pull the covers over my head because I'm afraid that someone can see me. I know that nothing will happen, but I still get scared. As soon as I fall asleep, I'm fine, but getting to sleep is hard. I don't know of anything that's ever happened to me to trigger this. My friend says I'm a slave of my fears, and I think he's right. Please help!

M.C.

I can't make definite recommendations about your fears and how you might resolve them without evaluating you personally. But I'll mention some possibilities you might consider, which you can pursue or not as you wish.

One option, of course, is to see a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional for help. Such a consultation might not need to involve long-term therapy, as some newer therapy techniques are reported to effectively address uncomplicated phobias and fears rather quickly. (By "uncomplicated" I mean conditions that are not made more complex by the existence of other problems, such as stress related to multiple traumas.) For instance, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) has been empirically determined to help alleviate the intrusive memories, nightmares and fears of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and many clinicians report it can be effective in freeing people from phobias and other kinds of fears. You can find out more about EMDR (including how to find a therapist trained in the technique) at the EMDR Institute's website.

Another approach many clinicians find helpful for fears, phobias and other issues is what some call psychological acupressure techniques, which usually involve mentally "tuning into" a problem and its related feelings while gently tapping on various acupressure points. One such approach is called Emotional freedom techniques (EFT). Psychological acupressure techniques are a part of the newly emerging field of energy psychology, which might be considered to have its genesis in psychologist Roger Callahan's "thought field therapy" (TFT). TFT and its related approaches have not been subjected to the kind of research EMDR and some other therapies have, however, and many psychologists and scientists think it's a bunch of hooey. Some psychologists think EMDR is a bunch of hooey, too, although there is more research supporting the value of EMDR in treating PTSD than there is of any other therapy. Go figure.

Before seeking out a therapist to help you with your fears of the dark and of being alone, however, you could try a relatively old-fashioned (but still useful) approach to conquering what you fear. You could gradually desensitize yourself to what you fear by exposing yourself to it in increments, while calming or reassuring yourself of your actual safety. In your case, perhaps, you could start by learning to fall asleep in the dark (or perhaps first with a nightlight on, then in the dark) while other people are around -- a roommate or your family, for instance. Instead of pulling the covers over your head and thinking about people being able to see you, you could practice thinking of other, more pleasant things or even do relaxation exercises in bed. Another possibility is to imagine yourself surrounded by a protective force field or white light (or light of whatever color you find soothing in your imagination). If you're spiritually inclined, you could also pray for serenity while in bed. Once you become accustomed to falling asleep in the dark with other people in the house, you can then practice falling asleep when alone. (By the way, some people find it comforting to have the sound of a fan or a machine producing the soft sounds of surf, a bubbling brook, or other "white noise" going while they're drifting off to sleep, to mask normal household creaking and settling, traffic sounds and other noises that set them on edge.)

I commend you on your willingness to seek help, and hope this gives you some possible routes to consider. There's no need to be ruled by your fears anymore. Good luck.