Valentine's Day is like a one-night stand: exciting on paper but rarely as fulfilling as the idea itself.

When mid-February rolls around, rumor has it that women fantasize about candlelit, champagne-soaked celebrations involving hours of intense eye gazing, while men begrudgingly fork over for overpriced foliage and fancy dinners out of obligation ("She sees those diamond commercials too, damn it!") and the hopes of getting laid.

"Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations," confirms Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of Finding Your Perfect Match. "The minute you start wondering is it going to be wonderful enough? it never will be."

But not every delicate damsel dreams of frilly hearts and fancy feasts on the 14th. "Cinco de Mayo means more to me," argues Nancy, a divorced writer in Santa Monica, CA, who has been with the same partner for 18 years. Allison, an Atlanta-based film producer, is even more unenthusiastic. "Valentine's Day is a ridiculous consumer holiday contrived by greeting card companies and further perpetuated by the diamond, chocolate and flower industries. I am madly in love with my boyfriend," she adds eagerly, "but having to summarize that in a card is a chore."

Measure Your Worth in Roses
Could a steaming cup of Valentine's soup be bad for the soul? "In the best of all possible worlds, February 14 is a pleasant and sentimental opportunity to lavish your partner with attention or move your relationship to the next level," explains Schwartz. On the other hand, if your union already is on shaky ‑- or simply uneven ‑- ground, a disappointing V-Day could become the straw that breaks your relationship's back.