I have had an intense fear of people for years and have only recently stopped "self-medicating" -- meaning serious drug abuse. It seemed the only way to deal with my fears. Now that I have stopped using drugs, I find my fears are worse than I ever could have imagined. I have begun treatment for my "social disorder" and drug use, but they say it could take a long time for recovery. Each session seems to leave me feeling more afraid than when I walked in. How do I care for my five-year-old when I can't walk out my own front door? How do I pay the bills when I am unable get a job? The thought of walking into someplace to apply for a job gives me more anxiety than I know how to cope with.

Kate

Congratulations on stopping your drug abuse. You're wise to realize the need not only to stop self-medicating, but to directly address your fears.

You mention that you're in treatment for a "social disorder," by which I assume you mean social anxiety. I hope by "treatment" you're referring to psychotherapy rather than psychiatric medication, because psychological and behavioral approaches to anxiety are a more effective solution to anxiety than prescription drugs. Psychological and behavioral therapy can help people directly address the sources of their anxiety, and learn coping strategies, while psychiatric medication essentially suppresses the symptoms. (Sometimes psychiatric medication can be judiciously used as an adjunct to psychotherapy, but I wouldn't recommend medication as the primary treatment, especially for anxiety.) You can read more about the problems of treating anxiety with medication in psychiatrist Edward H. Drummond's book Benzo Blues: Overcoming Anxiety Without Tranquilizers. If your anxiety ever seems to reach panic levels, you might also want to read Elke Zuercher-White's self-help book An End to Panic.

I recommend your talking with your therapist specifically about how you're feeling after sessions. Perhaps the two of you can work on relaxation skills and other coping strategies. It may also help to talk with your therapist about the process of therapy and your goals, and see if there's anything going on in therapy that might be more anxiety-provoking than is helpful to you right now. Although you may benefit from eventually better understanding and addressing whatever led to your fears of people in the first place, any delving into the past is best done from a firm foundation in the present -- which in your case may mean a stable sobriety and being able to find and work at a job.

Another thing to keep in mind is that when people stop using psychoactive drugs (including psychiatric medications) they sometimes experience a "rebound" or resurgence of the feelings or condition the drug was originally dampening. (They can also experience withdrawal symptoms, of course.) In essence, the body/brain reacts to the drug by trying to overcome its effect, and once the drug is stopped that overreaction continues for awhile until it "gets through" to the body/brain that there's no longer a chemical to fight against. (Peter Breggin and David Cohen discuss this phenomenon in their book Your Drug May Be Your Problem.) Someone who was medicating (or self-medicating) for anxiety, therefore, might experience a temporary rebound of anxiety after stopping the drug(s).

You may be familiar with this "rebound" effect for other conditions and drugs, such as rebound headaches experienced after someone with chronic headaches stops a long-term course of painkillers, or rebound sinus swelling after someone becomes dependent on nasally inhaled decongestants. (That's why over-the-counter nasal inhalants carry cautions against using them too frequently.) If that's part of what's going on with you right now, your anxiety might be expected to lessen as your body eventually adjusts to life without the chemicals. But I'd still recommend psychotherapy to help you address the issues related to your fears and drug use, and to support you in achieving your goals. Good luck.