I'm 19. I left college to raise my son, now four months old. While I don't regret this decision, I now have no friends (they're all at college) and no real life of my own. I feel my life is already over, when I know it is just beginning. I love my son dearly, but staying home is just not for me. When my fiance comes home from work he doesn't understand why I need time to myself. I can't get a job because it probably wouldn't cover childcare. I've always been a strong person, and I don't know how to ask for help. I put up a happy front. How can I confront and overcome my problems?

Tiffany

One of the first things you can do is challenge your assumption that strong people don't ask for help, because that's simply not true. Truly strong (and smart) people don't have qualms about asking for support when appropriate, because they know that makes more sense than slowly buckling under the weight of their problems.

One of the first things I'd suggest is talking honestly with your fiance about how you're feeling, and seeing if you can problem-solve together. It's completely understandable that you would want more out of life right now than caring for an infant, and it's possible to take care of your son's needs (which do come first at his age) while also addressing your own desires for some time alone and interaction with your peers.

Perhaps your fiance can take care of your son one night a week so you can go out with friends, or take a college or continuing education class. If you belong to a church, check to see whether it has a "Mother's Day Out" program providing free childcare some mornings or afternoons. You might also explore the possibilities of getting a job (whether part-time or full-time) even if most of your earnings are eaten up with childcare at first, if working outside the home would give you a needed boost in energy and confidence. (The benefits of meaningful employment aren't all economic.)

You might also check with a public university nearby (if there is one) to see if it offers assistance to students with children. More and more colleges are enrolling what they call "nontraditional" students -- "traditional" students being young singles who enter college right after high school. Some colleges offer financial aid, while others offer housing to married students with children. Some may offer childcare as well.

If, after you talk honestly with your fiance, he doesn't understand what you're feeling and doesn't support your doing what you need, you might consider couples counseling to facilitate communication and problem-solving. If he won't go with you, go by yourself to explore your options in greater depth.

Finally, you don't specifically say you've felt down or moody since your son's birth, but if you have felt that way, keep in mind that the hormonal changes associated with childbirth and nursing sometimes contribute to what's called postpartum depression. If you think you may be experiencing hormone-related mood changes, talk to your obstetrician/gynecologist. Good luck.