Surviving Breast Cancer, Embracing Life

The following is an Editorial Resource from YourTotalHealth.

Need a Friend

I am still new to all of this and have been having a bad bout of depression. My doctor gave me something for it, but it makes me sick to my stomach, so I quit taking it. I go back next week and will see if he has something else. This is all so hard for me. I just don't get it—they tell me I have stage IV metastized breast cancer, but other than being tired a lot, I don't feel bad at all. I look in the mirror and see the same person I saw a year ago, only thinner. The doctor says Tamoxifen is the best choice for me and that he sees no need for chemo or radiation or surgery. I understand Tamoxifen can make you depressed, but I just don't know how to deal with this. I feel normal on the outside, but on the inside I am hurting and scared. I have no one to talk to who understands, so if anyone can offer me any advice, I would be very grateful.
—slj57

I'm not an expert or very knowledgeable beyond my own situation, but it seems there are more aggressive ways to treat your cancer. Can you see another doctor to see what he or she would recommend? There may be other options. I know for me, I'm further away from depression when there is something I can actually be doing to help my condition.
—fergasmom

I don't have any answers for you, and I really don't think you're looking for answers from others. I'm not sure, but that's what I feel right now. The fear and terror is normal for someone diagnosed with cancer of any kind. I would definitely get another opinion. I find that becoming active in what happens to me helps relieve some of the anxiety and depression. As for [finding] someone to speak with, this [breast cancer support message board] is a great place to come.
—survivordeb

I am sorry that you are dealing with depression, but it really is normal with what you are going through. I think a lot of women suffer from some sort of depression to one degree or another after they are told they have cancer. It is especially hard when you are told that you are stage IV and that there is no aggressive treatment.
I agree with the other posters... you should get a second opinion. There certainly are options for those that are stage IV. The course of treatment is determined by how advanced the metastasis is and to where it has spread. If the oncologist has recommended Tamoxifen, obviously you are estrogen receptor-positive. Do you know if you are HER2-positive? I would get your slides, scans and pathology report and seek another opinion, if not two.

Another option is to look at clinical trials. I know a lot of people think that clinical trials are scary, but really they can help you and the future of research. In a clinical trial you will at least get the standard of care, and maybe something new. I don't know if there are any that you would qualify for, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Good luck to you … And if you ever need to vent or chat, please come here [breast cancer support message board]. We are all here for you.
—cl-maggie3333

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• Mastectomy vs. Lumpectomy
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