|
Codependent people usually put the needs and welfare of others ahead of their own and believe they are responsible for other people. They believe that others are usually incapable of taking care of themselves and attempt to convince them how to think and feel. Codependent people may have poor self-esteem and feel a deep need to seek approval and recognition from others. They fear losing relationships and will do anything to maintain them (e.g., performing demanding favors or buying lavish gifts for others).
Symptoms associated with codependency typically fall into three categories:
-
Denial patterns. People often fail to see the true nature of their behavior. For example, they may believe they are completely unselfish and are dedicated to the needs of others. They may also deny that the other person has any problems.
-
Low self-esteem patterns. People judge themselves much too harshly do not perceive themselves as worthwhile or lovable. They value the opinions of others over their own, which may also make them indecisive.
-
Compliance patterns. People may be willing to compromise their own values and integrity in order to avoid rejection or anger from others. For example, they may engage in sexual relations to seek approval or avoid rejection. They may also put aside their own hobbies or interests in order to pursue those of others.
People who engage in codependent behavior tend to alter, deny or minimize their true feelings and avoid confronting difficult emotions. They are often detached from others, and avoid talking and touching. They feel disconnected from their own needs and desires, struggle with their feelings and have difficulty trusting others. They often feel guilty if they assert themselves and put their own needs above others. The emotional toll of codependency often leads patients to try to escape through the use of alcohol and drugs. Others may develop compulsive behaviors such as gambling or risky sex. In addition, people who exhibit codependent behavior may repeat the pattern in multiple relationships. |