Everyone handles the grieving process differently. When friends or family members experience a death, they may be in denial or may want to be left alone. Although it is important to respect their wishes to a certain extent, there are several ways to help a loved cope with their loss and grief.

Tips for helping a loved one cope with death and dying can include:

• Let them know they can talk. Encouraging a loved one to talk about their feelings of loss and share memories of the deceased can help the healing process.
  
  
• Do not minimize their loss. It offers no consolation to a person experiencing grief to hear “It was for the best” or “You will get over it in time.” Instead, offering one’s sincere condolences and just listening to the individual  express their grief are better ways of showing compassion and understanding.
  
  
• Offer practical help. Assisting a grieving loved one with their daily chores, such as by babysitting, cooking or helping make funeral arrangements can be extremely helpful.
  
  
• Be patient with them. It is important to remember that everyone experiences loss in their own way. Some people may take a long time coming to terms with the death of a loved one. In such cases, one can show support by being available whenever needed.
  
  
• Encourage them to seek physical and/or mental health treatment when necessary. This is extremely important because individuals experiencing grief may be so overcome with their emotions that they may not realize they need professional help.

Children who experience the loss of a loved one, such as a parent, may grieve differently than adults. Because it can affect their sense of security, younger children may even revert to earlier behaviors such as bedwetting or temper tantrums. At this time, it is important to help youngsters deal with their grief by offering them consolation, love, support and assurances.

Sometimes grieving adults may be too affected by their own emotions to initially know how to respond to children’s questions. Nonetheless, parents or other caregivers should discuss death openly with children and try to answer all questions to the best of their ability. Death should be discussed in a language that can be understood by children, depending on their age or stage of development. Children under age 6 may not understand that death is permanent and may ask the same questions repeatedly. Children older than 6 may understand the concept of death, but may feel at fault.

Vague or inaccurate explanations or avoidance of the subject will not protect children from death. Rather, children may experience feelings of anxiety, confusion, mistrust and unresolved issues later in adulthood.

In most cases, no matter how young they are, children often sense a change in their environment following the death of a loved one. Adults should include children in their own grief and reassure them that their feelings are normal.

Caring adults should also be alert and recognize if children are experiencing symptoms of worsening grief – especially if prolonged – such as depression, inability to sleep or eat, fear of being alone, reverting to infantile behavior (e.g., thumb-sucking), withdrawal from friends and daily activities, difficulty in school and suicidal ideation. In such cases, a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional can help children effectively cope with the death of a loved one.

Because death is a difficult concept for children to understand, it is important to let children know that death is a normal part of life early on when they are first able to begin to comprehend it. This can be done by visiting elderly relatives or friends and talking to them about aging and death. The death of a family pet – usually the first experience children have with death – can be another opportunity to teach children about dying. Burying and saying goodbye to a pet can help children understand death.