As a nationally board certified Clinical Sexologist, I once had the rare distinction to co-lead a workshop with Betty Dodson, teaching women how to reclaim their sexuality and female power. It was nearly a decade ago, but I’ll never forget walking into the small building set aside for our two-day workshop and seeing so much hope, courage and dedication in the faces of our students. It was the 4th of July, and that Saturday night 44 women released their fears, shame, guilt and inhibitions -- along with their lost hope.

In order to celebrate their sexuality, these women first needed to accept their bodies. One by one, each told her story, sharing her pain and sadness. Two such women, “Margie" and "Sue”, were survivors of breast cancer and both had undergone total mastectomies. Margie and Sue sat across from me, dotting the sea of individual faces like warriors, two women who dared to bare it all. As they took off their shirts to feel and show the truth about their bodies, they each wept deeply, authentically, tragically. They spoke about their feelings of loss, shame, horror and sexual shutting down. And then something happened. They began to feel uplifted, exuding a radiance while they talked about getting past the sight of scars where once sat their full, beautiful breasts.

In their heroic disclosure, they began to surrender to what was. As they did, they felt a lightness emerge within themselves, and the group bonded with them, as you can imagine. They told us how they were now starting to feel a joy about their bodies and about themselves as women, a resurgence of their very womanhood. Margie and Sue said that they both had both chosen not to undergo restorative or cosmetic surgery. Instead they were living post-mastectomy for life, just the way we saw it. For them, in this healing room, their bodies became testaments to their courage and their strength; and those pushed-in chests were symbols of overcoming pain and demonstrating another kind of feminine beauty.