I started exotic dancing about three years ago to get out of debt. I hate the customers, and I worry that the large amount of drinking I do at work will severely affect my health. I want to quit, but how can I find a job that will cover all of my family's expenses? I explain this to my family but they don't understand or care. I get depressed, and I wonder if I did die from liver disease if anyone would miss me or just the money. I want to get help, but something else always has to be paid for, so I would feel selfish spending money on a counselor. Is there is a support group online that can help me sort through this?

Amy

It seems to me that the real issue here is your need to take care of yourself, whatever that may mean -- seeing a counselor, quitting drinking, quitting exotic dancing, etc. I'm sorry that your family doesn't seem to understand or, as you said, care about how miserable you are. But ultimately YOU are the one who needs to assert yourself and get whatever help, or make whatever changes, you need.

I find myself wondering who you mean by "family" (parents? siblings? children? husband?) and why you feel the need to cover all your family's expenses. If you're a single parent of minor children, that's one thing -- but in that case, your children should not be dictating what you do for a living. (And they'd be better off with a mother who makes less money, or supplies them with fewer material possessions, but is happier and healthier.) If you're paying the bills of your parents, siblings, husband or other adults, then I'd definitely recommend therapy to help you stand up for yourself and set healthier boundaries.

I don't know of a support group online specifically for exotic dancers, although there are some available for Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. You are always welcome at the Emotional Health chat session I facilitate Monday nights from 9-10pm CST. I suspect you'll find a lot of support there. Perhaps that can help you take the steps you need to find -- or create -- more support in your offline life.