I'm 30, and my boyfriend has volunteered to work in Bosnia for four to six months. He left on August 16, and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. I am depressed and have a hard time moving forward. All his messages and notes are loving and positive about our future. I realize that I should have my own life and interests, and I also know it is not healthy to base your happiness on someone else. I just love him and miss him so much. Everything reminds me of him. Do you have any advice on things I can do to break my depression? I have been trying to work on home improvement projects, I signed up for classes, and I am trying to enlarge my circle of friends. But I am beginning to lose hope.

-- Nat

It sounds like you have taken some potentially helpful steps to deal with the separation from your boyfriend. It's normal to miss someone we love when they're away, especially for a lengthy trip. But as you mentioned, ultimately it enriches us -- and makes for a healthier relationship -- when we're not dependent upon the other for happiness and pleasurable activities. I'm glad you're making efforts to cultivate your own interests and friends.

Other things you -- or anyone else feeling depressed -- might do include regular exercise, the occasional "treat" or pampering activity, journaling, hobbies, etc. You could also write letters to your boyfriend telling him about your day-to-day life ... the kind of things you'd talk to him about if he were at home.

If you find yourself thinking or feeling negative things about the separation -- such as "I'll never get through this," or "I can't be happy without him being here," consider confronting or challenging those statements with more realistic and positive thoughts, such as "I miss him, but he'll be home in just a few weeks."

Keep in mind that even strong feelings such as sadness and loss tend to lessen with time. It might help to keep reminding yourself that your painful feelings will eventually pass. As, of course, will the period of separation from your boyfriend.