Dealing with a Fat Day

"You're going to love these workout pants," said the sales clerk wrapping my purchases. "They have a lot of stretch in them so they're perfect even when you're having an 'I feel fat' day."

I thanked her and left, pondering her words all the way home. I knew what she meant by an "I feel fat" day (I bought the pants, didn't I?), and yet it seemed a really strange concept. Since when did "fat" morph into an emotion like "happy" or "angry"? What does it mean to "feel fat" and why are some days so given over to that feeling that they're consumed by it?

Like St. Patrick's Day or Independence Day, fat is important enough to get a day named in its honor ‑- and it doesn't just come once a year. Get a bad shock from the number on the scale? Can't fit into a favorite pair of pants? How about a snide comment from a relative or colleague? That's all it takes to turn an ordinary Monday or Tuesday into IFFD (I Feel Fat Day).

Carrying extra pounds is a necessary but not exclusive prerequisite to an IFFD. To have an IFFD, one must also carry an element of shame. A good IFFD is not complete without tears, self-loathing and a frantic scramble for concealing clothes. I know plenty of people (most of them male) who have fat without the shame. These men and women don't feel they can't leave the house without their special fat day pants. They don't feel unlovable, undeserving or invisible to the opposite sex. In fact, many of them are certain that this month's flavor of supermodel would find them irresistible if only they could wrangle an introduction. Needless to say, these people don't have IFFDs. They've got plans to lose the excess weight (sometimes more like a vague intention than a plan, but that's another story), and that's all there is to it.

So how do keep "fat" from becoming an emotion? Simple semantics. Fat is fat. Don't confuse it with the emotions so often attached to it, and recognize that shame and self-loathing are useless distractions. Neither of them will help you get closer to your goal. If the phrase "I have a few pounds to lose" had the same emotional impact of "I have a lot of junk to clear out of my basement," we'd be a whole lot happier and perhaps a whole lot thinner.

Why? Instead of wasting time and psychic energy on IFFDs, we could use those precious resources for the job at hand. Here's my ultimate plan for coping with an IFFD.

Make your very next meal a healthy one. By choosing a lightly dressed salad instead of "the usual," you're putting yourself on a new path and abruptly ending the IFFD.
Get moving. A body in motion is beauty in progress. Even if it's the middle of a workday and there's no chance of getting to the gym, you can still go up and down the stairs a few times.
Wear something that makes you feel beautiful. Resist the urge to hide yourself with camouflage ‑- that's shame talking ‑- and celebrate your unique look. Whether it's lipstick, a top in a knockout color or a pair of sexy shoes, choose something that says, "I feel great."
Hang out with positive people. Got a date with a whiner? Cancel it. Today, you need the company of winners, people who feed your energy and inspire the best in you.
Do something kind for someone else. A lot of diet experts counsel people to pamper themselves with manicures and other non-food treats. I think pampering is well and good, but it pales in comparison to the power of giving. Visit someone who's lonely, take a turn at a soup kitchen, or simply pay someone a heartfelt compliment, and you'll see. You have the power to change someone else's life and the power to transform your own. Others appreciate and value you, so perhaps you can appreciate and value yourself. Finally, this one exercise puts an IFFD in perspective. Kindness ultimately begins with loving care for oneself.

So: Do something kind, put your body in motion, make yourself a healthy meal and walk out the door with your head held high. You may not be perfect, but there's nothing sexier and more appealing than a woman with an orderly basement.