Every year I struggle through the holidays trying not to gain a hundred pounds, and then on New Year's Day I set the goal to lose weight and get fit. But every year I fail. Any suggestions?

You're not alone. Many people adopt New Year's weight loss resolutions without realizing that a few key issues doom them to failure. Let's talk about the most common examples of self-defeating thinking and behavior.

First, we try to use a short-term approach to solve a long-term problem. We secretly believe we can begin a diet, lose weight and then resume all our old bad habits. Or, we grab for the illusion of the quick fix promised by the manipulative diet industry. We fail to realize that weight management is a lifestyle challenge that can't be achieved without permanent changes. Who wants to believe that? There's no magic cure? Losing weight and keeping it off require a major commitment of time and energy? As they say, sometimes the truth hurts, and we have to gear up for the contest if we're going to stay on the winning track.

Second, we may have the best of intentions, do all the right things and then we crash into a faulty diet mentality thinking, "I'm not losing weight fast enough!" We get impatient. Why? Well, what do all the ads say? "Drop 10 pounds in a week!" Having been brainwashed to expect rapid results, we get demoralized when we don't see the weight plummet like a boulder off a cliff. We need to adjust our expectations about successful weight goals. Gradual loss (one or two pounds a week at the most) is more likely to be permanent.

Third, we don't exercise. We give in to all the excuses, like, "I don't have the time",; or, "I get enough exercise during the day." Research studies have shown repeatedly that exercise is the key to weight management success. Exercise is, without question, the best thing we can do for ourselves, both physically and mentally. It's the modern panacea. Yet almost two-thirds of Americans don't move enough to get the cobwebs out of their veins. Without regular exercise, our weight loss attempts will fail.

Finally, we often don't get our emotional house in order before we try to rearrange our body's furniture. We use food too much for comfort or discomfort, instead of finding a more direct route to meet our needs. In my book Fattitudes: Beat Self-Defeat and Win Your War with Weight, I talk about something called a fattitude. A fattitude is when your emotions stop you from succeeding in your diet. You may be thinking, "I don't want to feel, I want to eat," and, "I need my fat as an excuse for failure." Success at weight management requires that we equip ourselves with life management strategies that are emotionally effective and that don't rely on avoidance via overeating.

So, if you want to maximize your chances of not having to make the same resolutions all over again next year, try following these steps:

1. Make sure that you are really willing to rearrange your life to accommodate new, healthy habits.
2. Take charge of your life and do it for you and nobody else.
3. Focus on health instead of weight as your primary measure of success.
4. Concentrate on making permanent -- not temporary -- changes.
5. Set realistic, step-by-step goals.
6. Find time for regular, sweaty exercise.
7. Work on stress management skills that lessen your reliance on food.
8. Identify self-defeating "fattitudes" and foil them with rational thinking.
9. Cultivate and utilize your support network.
10. Reward your efforts and celebrate your victories.

And have a healthy new year!