Dear Lynn:

My 16-year-old daughter weighs 179 pounds and is 5'2". We eat well-balanced meals at home, and I do not keep many snack foods to avoid temptation. I suspect she is eating more fast food and snacks with her friends than I am aware of. Her weight has begun to affect our relationship, and I don't know how to help her. Thanks,

Suzy

Dear Suzy:

The best advice I can give is to stop discussing weight and food intake, at all costs. Your daughter is old enough to make her own food choices and she will be more likely to do something about her weight if left to herself. We're all aware that teens often do the exact opposite of our wishes, and this often happens in terms of weight gain and loss. In order to get back your good relationship with your daughter, focus on the positives in her life and forget about her weight and eating habits.

I do suggest that you read an excellent book on this subject by Debra Waterhouse, Like Mother, Like Daughter. The author discusses the way women learn body insecurities and disordered eating habits from their mothers and explains how to break this generational chain of dieting unhappiness. She focuses on a return to instinctive eating to satisfy our physical hunger instead of getting caught up in dieting "shoulds" and "should-nots." I highly recommend this book and its advice for all mothers and daughters (and sons).

Sincerely,

Lynn Grieger, R.D., C.D., C.D.E.

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