The best way to help is to be a friend, not a coach. For example, don't say, "You might want to try this women-only gym that just opened." Instead, try, "There's a women-only gym that just opened, and I'm going to check it out on Friday." Before you even add the almost knee-jerk, "Do you want to come with me?" wait a few beats. Your friend might surprise you and say, "Hey, I've been thinking about joining a gym! Can I tag along?" Or, if she's not ready for that, she might open up and tell you that she's been avoiding gyms because she doesn't want to be seen wearing tight-fitting exercise clothes. By giving her the chance to talk, you are genuinely helping her work through whatever barriers are preventing her from taking action.

Another way you can help is to model healthy behaviors. Let her see you ordering a salad for lunch. Even if she orders "the usual," she'll notice. When she asks whether you want to split a dessert, say lightly, "No, thanks, I'm staying away from sweets." Again, by using "I" language and not "you," you've created a space for her to respond, or at least think, about her food choices. She might say, "I should skip dessert, too," or she might say, "I wish I could skip dessert, but I just don't feel full unless I have something sweet." If you want to seize this opportunity, remember to continue using yourself as an example. You might respond, "I used to feel that way about dessert, but after passing it up a few times, it began to feel natural."