I've yo-yoed with my weight for years. I go on a diet, do well for a few weeks, and then suddenly pizza becomes irresistible. I know I shouldn't, but I eat the whole thing. I have no willpower! Please help!

I suspect that it's not really about the pizza or the willpower. It sounds like you've got a bad dieting mentality.

The most destructive aspects of dieting are the thought patterns, or "fattitudes" as I call them in my book, that lead to self-sabotaging behavior. We expect a quick fix. We make short-term instead of permanent changes. And, we often engage in destructive black-and-white thinking, creating an ominous mental chalkboard of "good" foods on one side and all the tasty -- but devilish --"bad" foods on the other. Pizza thus becomes one of those forbidden temptations.

I would submit that it's not the pizza, nor is it eating the pizza that's the problem; the real killer is the self-hatred you feel after you partake. The typical scenario goes like this: You avoid the forbidden food for a while. Then the temptation gets worse and worse. You inch closer and closer to a nibble. Then in a flash you find the pizza in your mouth and feel the crush of shame and guilt because of your transgression. If we could hear the rapid-fire thoughts that rattle your brain, they would most likely be: There, I've gone and done it. I'm so weak. I'm a failure. I've blown it again. I'm no good. Why bother? What's the use? Might as well give it all up and quit. I'm such awful person. I have no willpower.

Sound familiar?

The common follow-up to this negative thinking is a full-blown binge. Why? Because if we believe that we're pathetic and spineless, we're going to act accordingly. We don't just have one piece of the cheesy treat; we eat the whole thing, and then hastily order another.

There has got to be a better way.

Thankfully, there is. We can redefine willpower. Willpower shouldn't just mean being able to successfully eliminate a laundry list of bad foods. Instead, we should see willpower as consisting of choice and responsibility. So, willpower can mean choosing to be healthy. Willpower can mean seeking balance in our lives and our menus. And, ironically, willpower can mean choosing to eat something that's "not on our diet" if that's what we really want. Pizza (or some other wicked delight) then becomes merely a choice instead of a nemesis. Even if we eat more than we should, if we recognize that we're choosing instead of being chosen, we can avoid the "fattitude frenzy" that lands us in the diet dungeon!