It almost seems like an oxymoron. Food is so powerfully connected to feelings that it seems impossible to consider food apart from its context. For many people, the mere thought of a favorite food evokes powerful associations fusing image, taste, sensation, feeling, emotion and memory into a mixture that is near impossible to separate into its constituent parts.

Indeed, this is precisely the pit into which most folks attempting to change their eating habits fall, and from which many never successfully climb out.

In other words, when the boyfriend dumps you, buttered string beans and grilled fish just don't cut it.

Oh how we wish it did -- that comfort and consolation, peace and calm could be found in a forkful of tofu casserole rather than a creme brulee. That at the end of a stressful day, the pint of gourmet ice cream did not sing its siren song quite so loudly. That the familiar voices in our heads ("It's not going to kill me," "I deserve it," "I can start tomorrow") were not so well miked.

But they are. And if we're going to be successful in managing our weight, we need to stop waiting for them to shut up and learn how to live amidst their annoying chatter.

Living with our cravings

One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned came when I quit smoking. Like many people, I figured eventually the craving would stop, I wouldn't think about cigarettes so much, and the habit would just sort of go away by itself. Big mistake. It's been more than 10 years, and even now (very rarely, it's true) I'll get an urge to fill my lungs with irritating, carcinogenic, cancer-producing cigarette smoke. Don't ask me why. The important thing is that I don't do it. What I learned when I finally stopped smoking was that I could HAVE the impulse to do something stupid and destructive and yet not empower it. I could notice it, watch it, experience it and let it float by, rather than being sucked into the vacuum of its pull.