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Winning by LosingBy: It's All about You There's already good news: you're still reading! Now let's get to work. Of the three all-important S's of my plan, Self is an especially important aspect to start with, and one that is overlooked by a lot of the popular health and fitness programs. Part of what makes my method unique is that before I talk about calories or ab crunches, I ground you in some methods for changing your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your body, so that you have a strong springboard from which to make the leap into a new and better life. My own journey to health began when I was an overweight and unhappy teenager, so I know from firsthand experience the emotional baggage that being heavy brings with it. But with a little help and inspiration, I also found my way out of negativity and bad health, and not only am I now a better person for it, I also know the steps you can take right now to put you on the right mental and emotional path to a happier, healthier, more fulfilled life. Millions of viewers saw me push the members of my winning team on The Biggest Loser to confront and put their issues behind them. Those same millions watched my team shed 450 pounds in 3 months. Now it's your turn to get real and start losing.
Getting Real: Planning for Success Your first step on the road to total health and your best life is simple: you can't achieve success if you are not moving toward something, so before you do anything else, you have to establish a long-term goal. Sounds easy, right? Not so fast. It's easy to say to yourself that you want to look like an action hero or a supermodel. It's a little bit different to arrive at an ultimate goal that is at once ambitious and attainable. What exactly do I mean by attainable? In our day-to-day lives we are bombarded with images of supposed perfection and beauty all the time; it's easy to let the media and the world at large dictate how you feel you should look and consequently how you feel about how you do look. I'm telling you right now, that's got to stop. You know those articles about how to get J-Lo's toosh, Gwyneth's arms, Brad Pitt's rock-hard abs? Forget them! Even Cameron Diaz doesn't look like Cameron Diaz. Those photos we see in magazines are shot after hours of hair and makeup sessions, then airbrushed to perfection. Unrealistic aspirations to live up to these impossible standards lead nowhere except to poor self-image, self-loathing, and disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. Lizzeth from my Biggest Loser season 1 team had suffered all her life. And I know because I've been there, too. When I went from being a chubby kid to a chubby teenager, I became obsessed with my weight, falling into a cyclical pattern of self-hatred and low self-esteem fueled by the bogus images of women in magazines or on TV. I struggled desperately, obsessively, with the desire to be as skinny as Kate Moss. In my worst years I starved myself and even went for a liposuction consultation. I would spend hours in front of the mirror picking myself apart, analyzing my every flaw, beating myself up over every imperfection; my body became a screen onto which I projected all my negative feelings.
It wasn't until I started to accept and love my body $#8209;- and work with it rather than against it ‑- that I got real results. I might not look it on TV, but I'm short and stocky. Period. I even have cellulite on my butt. I am a real flesh-and- blood woman with plenty of imperfections. And I happen to look and feel great ‑- I have learned to be the best me that I can be. I'm healthy and strong and in the best shape of my life because I accepted the reality of my body. I will never have the petite, slender frame to which I aspired for so many years, but now I don't even want it. Once I let go of that unrealistic notion of what I thought I should look like and realized that I could be a sexy, voluptuous woman, I was able to look at myself honestly and see what could be done to make me look and feel my personal best. Take a good hard look at where your negative feelings about yourself are coming from. Whatever the source may be, whether it's media brainwashing, judgment from family or friends, or maybe a bad relationship, you must recognize it so that you can begin to let it go. Forget perfect. Perfect is boring! Our bodies are beautiful, no matter how narrow our cultural definitions might be. Embrace your perceived imperfections ‑- they make you unique ‑- and love who you are. It's the only way to move forward.
So what is a realistic expectation of an ideal you? Below are three basic body types ‑- identify the one that best applies to your body. It is important to understand your shape and what you can and can't expect from it.
As you can see, your basic shape is just a result of your particular pattern of fat deposits. With proper diet and exercise ‑- the kind that I lay out and personalize for you in the "Science" and "Sweat" sections of this book ‑- you can do a lot to alter your shape, but it's important that you get a grip on the fact that you can only win against genetics up to a certain point. Once you understand this, you can let go of unreachable goals and replace them with real ones. After identifying your shape as one of the three basic types, you need to establish a realistic weight for your specific build. You've probably heard of the body mass index. The BMI is used to determine the amount of fat you have on your body according to your weight and height. Here's why you're not going to use it: it fails to distinguish between fat and muscle, so the BMI will ultimately give you an incomplete sense of your ideal weight. The medical industry has most recently set its weight guidelines according to the waist-to-hip ratio method, which is a much more accurate way of arriving at an ideal goal weight. Follow these steps to find yours.
The ideal waist-to-hip ratios are 0.80 for women and 0.95 for men. No matter what number you've arrived at, do not be discouraged. Beating yourself up is never a solution. As you lose weight and get fit, you will reduce and redistribute your fat, which will give you a lower waist-to-hip ratio.
I have outlined some reasonable target weight standards if you prefer to keep track of pounds. Keep in mind that depending on your frame and whether you are big or small boned, there is a leeway in either direction of about 10 pounds. Women: Height ‑- Weight (in pounds)
Men: Height ‑- Weight (in pounds)
Getting It in Writing Now that you have an honest idea of what your shape can look like and what your goal weight should be, visualize it. Imagine in great detail how you will look and feel, the many ways in which your life will be different and, yes, better. This is where I suggest keeping a notebook. More than just a journal or a food log ‑- that comes later ‑- this is a place for you to write everything and see it in front of you so you are inspired to work through your issues and toward your goals, rather than avoid your problems and stay in neutral. Kelly from The Biggest Loser talked with me about wanting to go on a date when she went back home and finding the confidence to ask her boss for a raise. Since she's been home, she's done both those things and more. Putting it all on paper will also help you think more fully about your goals: Do you want to be healthy, confident, physically and mentally strong? What clothes do you want to wear that you can't now? See and feel yourself in your ultimate body, living a new life, playing with your kids, going on a date, getting compliments from friends or coworkers. Whatever the ultimate goals are for you, both physically and emotionally, write them down now in as much detail as you can, and refer back to them often. They will help you stay motivated on your journey. As you are envisioning the changes in your future, you must begin to let go of your past. Forget about what you looked like in high school, whether it was good or bad. Forget about fat periods or skinny periods in your life. The past does not define you; your present does. Having a vision of the future affects your behavior now. The key here is to let your daily actions be governed by your game plan for a new you and to keep that game plan in the forefront of your mind by writing about it and letting it become real. There's no deadline. Just commit to the process and take it day by day.
Breaking Down Your Goals Attaining that long-term goal may seem overwhelming or too distant. There is a simple solution: now that you have a vision of where you ultimately want to be, you can start to set smaller short-term goals in order to stay on track. Plot your course of action by writing down the immediate-term things you need to do in order to attain your long-term goal. Be honest with yourself about the obstacles that will stand in your way, and you can begin to methodically eliminate them one by one. No immediate goal is too small as long as it helps you move toward your long-term vision. As you are writing these short-term goals down, start thinking of little incentives to keep you going. For example, I don't love to work out. I know there are people out there who do. I'm just not one of them. Having said that, working out makes me feel great and inspires me in every area of my life, and I know myself well enough to realize that if I have a little external motivation, I can push myself through it. It is important that the incentives you come up with to motivate and reward yourself are not food related. Ryan from the show started saving his doughnut money to buy songs on iTunes at the end of every week. Start learning how to pamper and treat yourself in healthy life- and self- affirming ways that have nothing to do with food. Here's an example of how you can break a long-term goal down into less overwhelming minigoals and the kinds of incentives you can create to help you stay the course.
Goal and RewardUltimate Goal
Ultimate Reward
Monthly Goals
Monthly Rewards
Weekly Goals
Weekly Rewards
Daily Goals
Daily Rewards
These are only examples. Write down your long-term goals, then break them down into manageable, rewardable steps. Meditate on your daily goals every morning to give purpose to your day. And every night before you go to sleep, think about your vision of the ultimate You ‑- strong, healthy, and happy. Reaffirm your belief in yourself and your goals, and you will find yourself taking the active steps needed to achieve them.
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