There's this girl that I'm really in love with. And she's in love with me too. She has made it clear to me that she wants me to take her virginity, but I don't know if I should do that. It's a big responsibility, and I know I would feel guilty having taken away what I know is most sacred to her. I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid that if I bring it up, then she'll think there's something wrong with her, which is definitely not the case. What should I do?

Sean

I commend you on your sensitivity and caring. Sex can be a beautiful and pleasurable thing between two consenting adults (and I'm assuming you are both over 18), but it's not something to be taken lightly. In this day and age unwanted pregnancy isn't the only possible negative outcome of sex -- AIDS or other disease are a danger as well.

That said, it sounds like you and your girlfriend need to talk some more. By all means tell her of your concerns, stressing that you DO love her and find her attractive, but you've got questions about this big step. What exactly is she wanting or expecting from taking your relationship into this new area? Does she want a permanent commitment from you, such as, ultimately, marriage? Is that something YOU want? How would she -- and you -- feel if you eventually stopped seeing each other? Are you and she prepared to handle a possible pregnancy?

Discussing these questions with her may bring the two of you even closer emotionally. If she has any sense at all, she'll love you even more for caring enough about her -- and yourself -- to put on the brakes and bring up your concerns. If either you or she AREN'T able to talk about this, perhaps you both would benefit from waiting to have sex until you CAN talk about it. Good luck.