Emotional and social – psychosocial – development in early childhood includes children learning about social roles and how to interact with others through the use of language.

Around age 12 to 18 months, most toddlers are able to understand that certain behaviors (e.g., biting, hitting, screaming) are socially unacceptable. However, they are often not able to control their urges and impulses. Although it may be difficult at first, by age 2 many toddlers can begin to learn to control some of their socially unacceptable behaviors when they are consistently shown how to do so by a parent or other caregiver.

Two-year-olds sometimes can restrain themselves when told “no.” However, toddlers frequently test the limits of parents or caregivers and ignore such commands. Children typically have difficulty controlling themselves when they are tired, hungry or upset, which is usually when temper tantrums are most likely to occur. Temper tantrums enable toddlers to learn how to cope with difficult situations.

Words become increasingly important for behavior control during early childhood. Parents and caregivers can explain more to children as the children learn to understand more.

Although corporal punishment (e.g., spanking) is a common method used to discipline children, most childhood health experts strongly discourage it. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), spanking children frequently during early childhood may be associated with behavior problems during middle childhood.

Children also display a sense of humor at a very young age. Sometime between 9 and 15 months of age, babies know enough about their environment to grasp that when an adult barks like a dog, makes a funny face or does something else unexpected or silly, it is funny. As they get older, toddlers appreciate physical humor, especially when there is an element of surprise (e.g., being tossed up into the air by an adult). As they develop their speaking skills, verbal humor becomes a great source of amusement. They will find rhymes and nonsense words funny and this tendency will continue well into early and middle childhood.

By age 2, most toddlers become increasingly aware of themselves as separate from others. One of the signs of this growing awareness is the emergence of words, such as “me” and “I,” in their vocabulary. Along with an increasing awareness of the self come issues of ownership and sharing objects, especially toys.

Toddlers are typically self-centered and often display a strong possessiveness with objects and toys, claiming them as their own. Though this behavior usually makes toddlers appear selfish, once they become more secure in knowing what is and is not theirs, they gradually begin sharing more readily with other children.

Toddlers commonly display a wide range of feelings. Sometimes these feelings can be very strong. They may feel proud of a tower they have built but get very frustrated and upset when it tumbles to the ground or angry if someone topples it over. A toddler’s emerging independence is often mixed with still wanting to be cared for like a baby. For instance, a 2-year-old may want to do everything alone one minute, but want to be held in the arms of the parents the next.

Separation anxiety, which usually begins around age 10 to 18 months, generally goes away during the last half of a toddler’s second year as the child become increasingly enthusiastic about the company of others, especially children. By age 3, most children can separate easily from parents. A toddler’s behavior can vary, depending on temperament. At this stage, a parent’s or other caregiver’s emotional responses and social interactions serve as a model for the child to imitate.

Starting at age 3, children typically begin acting out social encounters through play activities such as playing “house.” They are also increasingly inventive in fantasy play.

Some children enjoy lots of noises and sights, though others need a little less excitement. All children have their own unique style and way of learning.

Most 3- and 4-year-olds crave new experiences, show affection openly and usually are more cooperative when playing with other children. Around this time, healthy children may be curious about the naked body and genitals. For instance, children may “play doctor” and show their body parts to other children and vice versa during such games. Masturbation is also normal at this time. However, masturbation that has a compulsive quality or that interferes with a child’s normal activities may be a sign of sexual abuse in children.