Is it harmful when a guy pushes firmly on the spot right below his testicles to stop ejaculation? Can this really delay his climax? My boyfriend does this when we are having sex, and I am worried that he may hurt himself. It makes me a little uncomfortable when he does this. --K

Dear K:

Time to send your fears packing. You are one lucky woman to have a man with this sexual savvy. In truth, he is an advanced lover, with the knowledge (learned or intuitive) that this is a "magic spot" for guys. This is the perineum, or that space between the underside of the testicular sac and the anus. According to esoteric or spiritual practices, such as Tantra, this is a physical location on the male's body that can alter the flow of both energy and sexual release. This is written about in many manuals that address both sexuality and spirituality, such as books by David Ramsdale, Margo Anand and Montak Chia.

Many men ask me how to control their urge to climax or ejaculate. Once a man has reached the point of ejaculatory inevitability, it really is too late to do anything, as his body is set for jet propulsion. However, any man can learn to track his own response patterns, often by touching the perineum and literally feeling the responses about to occur. With that type of instant feedback and by applying pressure to this area before reaching the point of no return, any man can prolong his sexual cycle and achieve maximum pleasure, alone or with a partner.

I just reviewed an excellent video that demonstrates the range of male sexual response, called Maximum Orgasm: The Man's Guide to Tantric Pleasure. It's available on special order from my site (www.yoursexcoach.com) or from (818) 718-0949. In it you will find a complete guide to male self-pleasuring, and techniques for managing sexual response (including orgasm and ejaculation control) and for heightening male sexual performance. I suggest that you buy this for your man and watch it together.