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Exploring Adoption
Reviewed By: Deciding to adopt a child is one of the most important choices you'll ever make. And yet, many couples have only a foggy notion of what is involved in the adoption process. Fortunately, many resources are available to help. They can guide you every step of the way, from applying for adoption eligibility right through to the moment when you pick up your bundle of joy. Adoption is a very personal and lifelong decision. Individual feelings and circumstances will determine which choices are right for you. Keeping the following in mind can help make the journey a little easier. Educate yourself The first step begins with questions you (and, if applicable, your partner) must answer. The answers will impact all later steps:
Carefully consider the answers to these questions. For instance, the requirements for parents who adopt overseas vary, as does the wait time. Parents may find wait times and regulations less difficult when adopting from certain countries, but they may not learn as much about the child's background as compared to a domestic adoption. Children in foster care may wait for years before finding an adoptive family. There are usually shorter adoption wait times when adopting through foster care, and parents have access to post-adoption support and other services. Within the United States,adoptions are governed by state laws. This means rules and regulations vary state to state, so you must learn your state's requirements. If you are adopting a child from another country, that nation's laws and the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Service regulations will apply. Private attorneys that specialize in adoption can provide excellent information about the process. In addition, organizations such as public child welfare agencies, adoption agencies, hospitals, local community colleges and religious organizations can help you learn more about adoption. Here are some places to get started:
Figure out the costs Adoption costs vary significantly, from almost free to more than $40,000. Domestic adoptions and those handled by a public agency are likely to cost less than international adoptions or efforts handled by a private or independent agency. If you are considering adoption, make sure you are prepared for the financial demands, both to adopt and to care for children. Also, look for ways to trim your costs. Some employers offer financial assistance to employees who adopt children. Members of the military also are eligible for financial assistance when adopting. Adopting a child through foster care or adopting a special-needs child may cost little or nothing, especially after federal or state subsidies are factored in. If you choose this path, talk to your tax adviser about federal tax credits that can lower the taxes of adoptive parents. In some cases, subsidies are available to help reimburse some child-rearing costs. Only work with reputable adoption providers. Hiring a less-than-reputable adoption provider is risky to your wallet. Beware of any provider that asks you to pay all fees in advance. In most cases, only a small fee will be expected during the application process. Before you sign anything, be sure to agree on fees and a payment schedule that works for both you and the provider. Prepare for the home study Prior to being approved for adoption, you will be required to undergo what is known as a "home study." During this process, a social worker will visit your home to gather basic information and make sure you are ready physically, emotionally and financially to become a parent. View the home study as an opportunity to explore questions and concerns and use this information to make a final decision about whether or not to pursue adoption. Some states require prospective parents to attend a series of training classes. Adoption agencies may require one-on-one visits with a social worker. Whatever the format, the home study will focus on why you wish to adopt, your relationships (with your partner and/or family), your physical, emotional and financial health, your employment, and so on. The home study usually takes between 2 and 10 months to complete. Each state requires a home study, but the rules and regulations regarding this process vary. Adoption agencies have the flexibility to create their own policies and procedures, so long as they fit into the general framework established by the state. Find emotional support Deciding to adopt is one of the most emotionally charged and important things you will ever do. While most people will be supportive, others -- possibly even family members or friends -- may question your decision. There are also many ups and downs in the process that may leave you emotionally drained. Emotional support can help adoptive parents. Support groups can connect you with others who are going through a similar process or who have done so in the past. The iVillage community offers the following related message boards:
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