If there is one part of the female sexual anatomy that gets male attention it's the breasts. That's nature at work. Biologically, the breasts are a major part of the cueing patterns for attracting a mate, and of course, they also work to feed the young of our species. Because of this, there is a great sense of loss associated with a removed or altered breast. But the idea that a change in your breasts signals a loss of sex appeal is simply not true. Sexy is as sexy feels and does. We all know that men respond to visual stimulation, but they are also attracted to how a woman feels about herself. Men derive their pleasure from a woman's pleasure, and having the courage to show that you are alive sexually will get you further with a man than any "10" in a bathing suit.

Any trauma will leave you feeling endangered. Some women claim that having a mastectomy is a reminder of their mortality and find themselves living in constant anxiety about recurrence; others emerge with a spiritual awakening, saying that they regard their breast removal or alteration as a gift that allowed them understand how precious life is and taught them to live for today.

It's the same when a family member has a life-threatening illness. In my own experience, the "gift" of such an illness was the bonding that my family felt. There was a continual focus on the deliciousness of each encounter, realizing always that it could be our last. That consciousness propels you into a different state of being, a heightened sense of being alive and a deep appreciation of the experiences you do have.