I am a teacher, and often students (teenage girls) come to me to talk about dating violence that they are experiencing. I am wondering what I can do to help them. Where do I refer them or their parents for proper help and guidance?

-- Karen

Almost one in 10 high school students will become a victim of violence from a boyfriend or, less often, a girlfriend. Up to 25 percent of girls aged 15 to 24 will experience rape or attempted rape. In more than half of those cases, the attacker is someone the girl is dating. Boys are rarely physically assaulted in relationships, but such abuse is often severe when it does occur.

These statistics and other information, recommendations and resources come from "Love Doesn't Have to Hurt Teens," a poster-like brochure developed by the American Psychological Association (APA) in consultation with the Partners in Program Planning in Adolescent Health, whose members include the American Bar Association's Center on Children and the Law and Commission on Domestic Violence, the American Dietetic Association, the American Medical Association, and the National Association of Social Workers. You can purchase copies of this publication to post at your school and distribute to students and parents; call the APA order department at 1-800-374-2721, ext. 5510. APA's website contains the text of other materials on children and violence. "Raising Children to Resist Violence: What You Can Do" may be particularly helpful for parents.

The "Love Doesn't Have to Hurt Teens" brochure lists other resources for students and parents. These are some:
-- state or local domestic violence programs (contact information should be available from your local emergency room or police department)
-- the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)
-- the National Organization for Victim Assistance (1-800-TRY-NOVA)
-- the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (1-800-537-2238)
General counseling and guidance can be obtained from licensed mental health professionals in your community, either in private practice or working in agencies serving adolescents and families. Overall, teens should be encouraged to take care of themselves, demand respect from their partners, and to pay attention to feelings or signs that something's not right.

I wish every teenage girl -- and adult woman -- would read The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker. De Becker founded a security and threat management consulting business after growing up in a violent home. He believes that many women override gut feelings of danger in order to "be nice," avoid offense or keep relationships intact. Often, unfortunately, the cost of such denial is assault. The book does an excellent job of encouraging girls, women, men and boys to listen to and honor signs of potential danger.