I'm 14, and I've been depressed for about a year and a half. I want to get help, but I don't know how. I don't share my feelings with anyone in my family; I don't want them to worry about me. If I told my mum that I wanted to go to a psychologist for depression, then she'd worry, and that's the last thing I'd want. But I can't go on like this forever. I thought maybe I'd just ride it through, and it'd be over, but it's just as bad as before, or worse. How do I tell my mum I need help?

D.F.

I appreciate your concern over your mother's feelings, but it's important that you get the help you need. Your mother may be worried if you tell her you've been depressed, but I suspect she'd much rather you be honest with her rather than trying to keep your problems to yourself. And, of course, she will probably be relieved if you see a psychologist or other therapist who helps you feel better.

One possibility is to tell your mother basically what you've told me: that you've been depressed for about a year and a half, that you haven't wanted to worry her, but it's not getting better and you'd like to see a therapist. Ask her to arrange an appointment for you. (If she doesn't know of any therapists to contact, she can get a referral from your family physician.) If she wants to know why you're depressed and you don't want to tell her, or you really don't know why (which is common), tell her that's one of the things you want to talk about with a therapist.

You could also tell her that you don't want to burden her with your problems, but keep in mind that one of the jobs of a parent IS to handle their underage children's problems, or to help their children handle their problems. And because your mother has more life experience than you do, your problems may not seem as overwhelming to her as they do to you. (Not to minimize your problems, of course.) No matter how severe your problems are, though, a truly loving and caring parent will want to know about them and do what they can to help. So please do let your mother know what's going on with you and that you want to see a therapist. You may even find she's been wondering what's bothering you and is grateful at your reaching out. Good luck.