Common Questions about Eating Disorders
Craig Johnson, Ph.D.
Laureate Psychiatric Clinic and Hospital, Tulsa, OK

How Do You Help Someone You Think Has an Eating Disorder?
If you are concerned about a friend, don't keep your suspicions to yourself.

Talk to your friend. In a calm and caring way, tell your friend what you saw or heard. Use "I" statements, and let your friend know that you are concerned. Here are some suggestions:
* "I'm worried about you because you haven't eaten lunch this week."
* "Are you OK? Were you vomiting after lunch? I'm concerned about you."
* "I heard you talking about taking laxatives (or diet pills), and that scares me."

Listen carefully to what your friend says. Think about how your friend might be feeling. Your friend might feel ashamed or scared. Your friend may feel unimportant, or think that life doesn't matter. Feeling out of control also is common; not eating, or eating too much, may be your friend's way of coping with problems at home or at school.

Your friend may get angry, because of fear, shame or other strong emotions. Your friend may deny it -- it's very common for people with eating disorders to say there's nothing wrong. Alternatively, she or he might beg you not to tell, or may promise not to do it anymore.

Tell your friend that you want to help. What your friend is doing is scary and unhealthy. Explain that you care, and that you want her or him to get help. Encourage your friend to talk to someone in a position of authority -- a school counselor or teacher, a doctor or nurse, a member of the clergy, a trusted relative. Say you would be willing to go along to provide support. Or you may decide to tell your friend that you plan to tell someone about the problem yourself.