My question is about my mental stability. I am 20 years old. I have a severe inner struggle between the two me's -- I call them the old me and the new me. I can't seem to stay focused. I have had suicidal episodes and thoughts of hurting myself maybe every few months or so, but haven't hurt myself for three months and haven't tried to kill myself since six months before that. I don't know if I have a problem with depression or an imbalance or what. One side of me just is so positive, and the other is SO negative. I don't know if I need help or not. I used to have names I'd call each personality, inside, but that was a year or two ago. I just want to understand myself and know if this is normal.

T.L.

Many people refer to themselves as having more than one "side" or even "parts" to themselves. That in itself is not usually a problem. What IS a problem though, is when those "sides" or "parts" seem so different and so in conflict with each other that the person has difficulty resolving internal conflicts, or external problems are caused by the person's acting much differently when influenced by different parts. Some people even feel they can't control their behavior under such influences, which is also a problem. And, of course, anytime someone attempts suicide or hurts themselves in other ways I'd recommend they seek professional help ASAP.

And that, as you may guess, is what I'd recommend for you. I can't say for certain what might be going on with you without talking with you personally, but one possibility might be some kind of dissociative disorder. I'd recommend your consulting with a psychologist or other licensed therapist who's knowledgeable about dissociative disorders, which means he or she should be able to help determine whether that might be going on with you or if not, what else could be the problem. (Someone who doesn't have experience with dissociative disorders might not know enough about those conditions to assess whether or not that's part of your problem.)

You may be able to get a referral to a good therapist by contacting the International Society for the Study of Dissociation or the Sidran Foundation, which specializes in education about dissociative disorders.