As a single person without a current love interest, I don't look forward to Valentine's Day. It seems like a holiday concocted to bother those of us who don't date very often (or very successfully). I don't begrudge anyone romance, but I feel like the media is telling me that my self worth is related in some way to my ability to "find a man." Is it OK to be alone? Our society doesn't seem to think so.

First off, let me say that even if the media WERE telling you that your self-worth is contingent upon your ability to find a man, that doesn't make it so. Please take whatever members of the media -- including me in this column -- say under advisement and weigh it with your best judgment. You're the final arbiter of what works best for you.

Second, the media isn't actually one giant entity trying to get the same message(s) across to the public. Yes, the magazine racks are replete with rags featuring "101 Ways to Get A Man," "101 Ways to Improve Your Appearance (To Get A Man)," "101 Ways to Keep A Man (Once You've Got Him)," etc. But I can guarantee you that you'll find a different message in, say, "Ms." magazine. Perhaps it would help you to seek out media outlets and publications in which the focus is on more than dating and mating.

A person's worth is independent of whether he or she is married or in a relationship. Is it OK to be alone -- that is, not in a relationship? Absolutely. A loving, committed, supportive relationship can be wonderful, but not everybody finds such a life partner. Some people create very comfortable lives for themselves as single people, and embrace the solitude. (Of course, not being in a romantic or sexual relationship doesn't mean one can't have enriching, lifelong friendships.) As a matter of fact, I think it's far healthier to be alone than to be in an abusive or exploitative relationship.