I am a single parent with three boys, ages 20, 10 and 8. My 20-year-old was recently diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia, my mom is suffering from dementia and paranoia, and my dad was recently diagnosed with first-stage prostate cancer. I work part-time to help support my children, and I share a home with my parents since my mother is afraid to stay with my father who she thinks wants to kill her. I see a counselor once a week to help me remain sane and out of depression, which I suffer from sometimes. The counseling helps, but lately I have been crying for days and having dreams that give me migraines the next morning. I have also been very preoccupied, with my mind full of thoughts and songs, and I'm unable to sleep. I'm so afraid I might be losing it, but I'm desperately trying to hang in here during these awfully trying times. Any advice?

S.B.

I can't say exactly what's going on with you without evaluating you personally. But it certainly sounds as though you are under a tremendous amount of stress, which can trigger or exacerbate anxiety, depression and other emotional problems.

In fact, one conceptualization of depression is that it is a state of "overwhelm" in which the suffering individual emotionally collapses under the strain of personal and life stressors. Anxiety can also be seen as the mind and body's reaction to real or perceived danger. Even schizophrenia and other psychotic conditions can be triggered or worsened by stress, trauma, and conflict (to which some individuals may be more sensitive than others).

I'm glad, therefore, you're seeing a counselor. My main recommendation is to let your counselor know what you're experiencing, and explore your options with him or her. Some possibilities include taking steps to decrease the stress you're under and/or to increase the support in your life. (For instance, might it help to arrange for home health aides to assist your mother and father? Would it benefit you to meet twice a week with your counselor for a while?)

Psychiatric medication might also provide some temporary relief for you, although I don't recommend such drugs as long-term solutions. Drugs prescribed for sleeping problems, for example, can ultimately backfire and increase sleep disturbance if taken regularly. Eliminating caffeine, getting regular exercise, and addressing stress, along with other strategies, usually is of more help in the long run.

Another thought: If you're having dreams that give you migraines the next morning, I'd be curious about the content of those dreams. Often, what's bothering us (even on an unconscious level) surfaces first in our dreams. The message may not be literal, though -- we may need to sort through surrealistic dream logic and symbolism to come to an appropriate understanding. Sometimes such processing can make us aware of aspects of our current situation -- and our reaction to it -- of which we are not completely aware, or perhaps may be trying to deny.