I am a 28-year-old college student with a two-year-old son. Ever since my delivery, I have been getting a lot of mood swings. I get upset easily with my husband and son and lose my temper very often. I have been staying home with my son and I feel very frustrated a lot of the time. I am really concerned about this change in my moods and my low levels of tolerance and patience. My self-confidence is at an all-time low. Please help, as I am in the process of also finding a job.

Sherrie

It certainly sounds as though you have a lot to juggle right now -- college, childrearing and (I assume) housework, a husband and job-hunting. No wonder you're frustrated and moody.

You could be experiencing the stress of trying to manage your multiple roles (student, mother, wife, potential employee). When we're physically depleted, we have less energy available to handle even ordinary hassles and tasks, and we are more likely to snap at even the ones we love. Being tolerant and patient (whether with a two-year-old or a spouse) takes energy -- which is exactly what stress saps.

One of the hardest tasks of a parent -- especially the mother of a young child -- is to find or MAKE the time to take care of HERSELF. But it's exactly that kind of self-care that is so important for all human beings, because it revitalizes us, replenishes us.

What do I mean by taking care of yourself? Well, in some ways, of course, you're probably doing that already, by going to college, looking for a job, etc. But what I'm really talking about is leisure time, recreation time -- even 15 minutes a day can pay off. Can you work with your husband or friends or relatives -- or even a paid babysitter -- so you have some time to yourself regularly? (School doesn't count if that's another source of stress.)

You could spend that time any way you like -- soaking in a hot bath, reading a trashy book or magazine (we're talking fun, here -- no textbooks allowed), having lunch with a girlfriend, going for a walk, taking a yoga class -- whatever relaxes you.

And even though working outside the home may add some stress to your life, you might actually find the benefits outweigh the costs if you find a job you like. Many women enjoy having an arena in which they're not Mommy or Wife, where they can get a sense of mastery and competence different from what they may feel at home. (Maybe Martha Stewart feels a sense of mastery at home, but I hear she has a staff of dozens.)

So try examining your current life for sources and types of stress, and see if you can address them. If you have trouble coming up with possibilities yourself, you might be able to obtain free or low-cost counseling at your college counseling center or student health service. Good luck.