I think I am a lesbian, and I am scared. I feel like my body is bad, and I feel like destroying it or cutting it or something. I have a wonderful, supportive therapist, but she is about to leave. She wants me to continue with someone else in her office, but it has taken me a year and a half to trust her enough to tell her. I don't want to start over. Are there any websites or public support groups for people like me? I feel desperate.

-- Debby

I'm sorry that you're not going to be able to continue seeing your therapist. I know how hard it is to end such a relationship, and how seeing another therapist can feel like starting all over again.

And yet, you won't actually be starting all over again. You've taken an important step in telling your current therapist something that is very scary to you, and nothing can erase that step. I doubt it would take you another year and a half to tell another therapist, because you've already broken the ice, so to speak. And besides, your current therapist will probably, with your permission, discuss your work together with the new therapist to make the transition easier. So you won't be starting from scratch ... at least, not information-wise.

But I recommend that you spend some time in your remaining sessions with your current therapist and your first sessions with your new therapist discussing how you feel about the change. Most people who have to change therapists because their original therapist is leaving have mixed feelings about it. They may feel sad, angry, afraid. They may feel that liking a new therapist would mean they are being "disloyal" to the old therapist. (That's not the case, by the way.)
You ask if there are any websites or public support groups for people like you, but I'm not sure what you mean by "people like you." People who think they may be lesbian? People who feel their bodies are bad? People who feel like hurting their bodies or actually do injure themselves? There are resources available for lesbians in most large cities, and many lesbians live happy, fulfilling lives. What I'm most concerned about, though, is how you feel about your body and your desire to hurt yourself.

I'm wondering if your negative feelings about your body are related to your believing you might be a lesbian, or if they stem from other causes. Many abused children, for instance, blame themselves and their bodies for the abuse. ("If I didn't have a body, it wouldn't have happened to me.") Sexually abused children (or adults) may be disgusted at their bodies for having erotic feelings during abuse, which can sometimes happen. (After all, the body is hardwired to respond to certain stimulation, no matter who or what provides the stimulation.) Of course, there could be other reasons for your feelings about your body besides abuse or fears about being lesbian. Whatever the reason, it's important that this issue be understood and addressed in therapy.

Overall, I think the best course of action is for you to discuss your feelings with your current and new therapists, including your feelings about the change. Talk with your current therapist about what might help ease the transfer to another therapist, such as meeting with the new therapist once or twice before your last session with your current therapist. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your original therapist, but remain open to the possibility of developing a connection with a new therapist. Good luck.