My boyfriend keeps trying to have sex with me. He is my first boyfriend. I know I am not his first. All right, so I'm young. But what if he laughs at me? What if I don't meet his standards?

S.

I hesitate to recommend that you go ahead and have sex with your first boyfriend, especially since I'm not sure how old you are. But even if you were 40, it would probably be wise to wait to have sex until you feel able to discuss these issues with the man with whom you're contemplating having sex ... or until you feel more comfortable about your body.

If a man truly cares about a woman, he'll be interested in meeting HER standards ... and not making HER laugh unless he's trying to show his sense of humor. Healthy sexual relationships are mutual. Whether he's your first or your 50th, you have a right to let him know what makes YOU feel good, and what you want. If he's emotionally mature and really cares about you, he'll listen.

Telling him what you want can include asking him to back off until you really feel like having sex. (Please keep in mind that sex brings with it some risks, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. I don't recommend anyone having sex until they are able to handle these possible outcomes ... and, of course, know how to have sex as safely as possible.)

If he really cares about you, he'll wait, and he won't laugh when or if you do have sex. If all he wants is to have sex with someone -- anyone -- he may break up with you if you ask him to back off. But in that case, what would you really be losing?