I don't want to do anything around the house or go out unless I just have to. I don't really feel depressed or bad; I just have no desire to do anything. I have a son and a husband, and I keep my 55-year-old sister who has Down syndrome. She can't talk, she is like a two-year old. I used to crochet, knit and go shopping. Now I don't want to do any of that. I just cook because they have to eat. I stay home six days a week, just me and my sister. What is wrong with me?

Ruby

I can't say for sure what you're experiencing without talking with you personally, but the behavior you describe certainly could be related your life situation. I wonder how long you've been taking care of your sister, and how old your son is.

Sometimes the strain of caring for loved ones adds up until it exhausts us. When our energy is depleted, we stop doing many activities we once did for fun, or which brought us joy, which means we then have little or no means of re-creating or restoring ourselves. We may not consciously feel depressed or unhappy, but beneath the surface, much of our life force may be leaching away. If that continues, we may eventually develop an emotional sinkhole (that black pit called depression). Or we may keep plugging along in an emotional state in which we're not quite miserable, but not quite happy either.

I wonder if you might start developing more interest in life and your hobbies again if you got some help in taking care of your sister and made a point to do some things each day just for you. Is there anything you've dreamed of doing that might infuse some joy into your life? Is there a caregivers' support group in your area you might participate in? How's your relationship with your husband? Would it help to spend some "quality time" alone with him -- getting a sitter and going away for a weekend, for instance?

You might want to get a physical exam to make sure there's no medical reason for your behavior changes. If your physician suspects you're depressed, he or she may recommend an antidepressant. Some people find such medication quite helpful, while others do not. I don't recommend taking such medication without also getting counseling or psychological assistance. You could always ask your physician for a referral to a counselor if both of you think it would benefit you. Another possibility might be to consult with a social worker about resources for your sister's care. Again, your physician might be able to refer you.