It has been about a year since my group of friends and I graduated from college. To look at us, you would think we have a lot to be happy about. All seven of us have good jobs and are financially stable. Yet each of us is in some form of depression. Relationships are not working, crying is a daily ritual, and there's a general lackluster instead of a group of fun-loving girls. Is it common to spiral into depression after graduating from college, or is this just coincidence? How can I help those I love -- and myself -- snap out of it?

A.H.

I can't say specifically what might be going on with you and your friends without talking with all of you personally and getting more information. But I'll mention some things that come to mind upon reading your question.

First, I'm not aware of any global tendency for people to become depressed after graduating from college. However, moving from college into full-time employment IS a significant life transition, and navigating such transitions is sometimes difficult.

Sometimes people pin their hopes on certain changes -- a new job, a relocation, a new boyfriend, etc. -- and then become distressed when those changes don't live up to expectations. People can also focus on such external factors as a way of avoiding dealing more directly with painful personal issues. For instance, someone with low self-esteem may try to lose weight or find a boyfriend to feel better about herself, instead of addressing whatever psychological factors are associated with her poor opinion of herself. A weight-loss diet or new boyfriend may provide a temporary ego boost, but it will soon be deflated if there are no inner resources to maintain it. (Not to mention that most people who lose weight by dieting gain it back, and most dating relationships eventually end.)

Since all of your group of friends seem to be experiencing similar problems, what about forming some kind of support group for each other -- a place in which you can regularly meet and honestly discuss what's going on with you, and explore things that might help? You could do that on your own -- discussing various self-help books or issues if you think that would be helpful -- or find a therapist or counselor to meet with you for a fee. Or, of course, each of you could consult with a therapist individually or join an existing support group of young singles. Such groups might be available through churches, community centers, etc. Good luck.