What advice do you have for folks about to become "empty nesters"? How can we prepare for this event and survive it when it happens? --Jill

One of the most difficult things about childrearing is that the ultimate goal is essentially to work yourself out of a job. In other words, if all goes well your child will become increasingly independent until one day he or she is launched into the world with a life and job and even partner of his or her own. It can be hard to see that little creature who once depended upon you for everything as now an adult who can take care of himself or herself.

Of course, the path from cradle to free flight isn't always a perfectly straight progression. There are test flights and sometimes a return to the nest for a while if the world seems a little too cold, too cruel or just too expensive.

You and your husband are about to undergo a life transition -- probably not one as momentous (or stressful) as when you became parents for the first time, but still a life change to which you and your child will have to adjust. Not that the change is all bad. Some parents rejoice as their last child leaves home, and they load up the Winnebago and take off for a much-needed vacation before the kid has barely turned the corner.

But other parents dread the empty nest -- especially homemakers who have poured heart and soul into their childrearing. Sometimes a husband and wife have become so accustomed to operating as Mother and Father that when the children leave home they're at a loss for how to relate to each other as husband and wife again, without children to focus on. They may need time to develop or redevelop activities they enjoy doing together without the children, or hobbies they can engage in alone or with friends.

If your last child is soon to leave home, you and your husband may want to talk about how that may affect both of you individually and as a couple. What will you do with the time and energy you've been spending on the child up to now? (Of course, you'll continue to be a parent and to have contact with your child even after he or she has left home, but on a day-to-day basis you're going to have much less to do with them.) You might want to start doing some more things together now, or plan to develop or return to hobbies or even friendships you enjoy. (Think about those things you used to say you'd do if you only had the time ...)

If one of you has devoted most of your married life to homemaking and childrearing, that one may especially benefit from planning what to do once the nest becomes empty. He or she may want to get a job, either full-time or part-time. Or do volunteer work. Or go back to school.

You may ultimately find that the empty nest has a lot going for it ... like more time and energy to focus on yourself and your husband instead of the children. And eventually, your fledgling may provide offspring of his or her own for you to enjoy. And you know the wonderful thing about grandchildren, don't you? You get to play with them, spoil them a little, love them a lot ... and then give them back to their parents and kick back in that nice empty nest when you get tired.