I live with two roommates. Recently, one of my roommates has been sneaking into my room and taking alcohol from me. Just recently, I brought home a bottle of alcohol. When I returned, the bottle was half full. Then four hours later, the bottle was refilled with water. Am I dealing with a serious problem with an alcoholic?

Tim

You may or may not be dealing with an alcoholic, but it sure sounds like you're dealing with a thief. Some addicts or alcoholics do steal to feed their habits -- either pinching the substance or liquor itself, or engaging in criminal behavior (such as burglary or robbery) to obtain money for their drug(s) of choice.

But, of course, some alcoholics or addicts do NOT engage in criminal behavior. And some people who steal (whether liquor or anything else) are not addicts or alcoholics.

If you know for sure one of your roommates has been stealing alcohol from you, you have some choices to make. You can say nothing, but lock up or hide your liquor; or you can confront your roommate with your knowledge of his or her actions. In the latter case, you can choose to ask him or her to reimburse you for the liquor, or you can tell him that any future theft will be met with (insert whatever consequences you are willing to follow through on).

Reasonable consequences might include reimbursement for the stolen liquor, and/or eviction from the household or roommate arrangement. (I doubt the police would get involved when a half bottle of alcohol is stolen. But if a roommate ever takes anything else of value without your permission, you could consider calling the police.)

If you choose to confront your roommate, though, you should be prepared to handle possible reactions that could range from denial to anger to "so what?" on the part of both the roommate who allegedly stole the liquor and your other roommate, depending on whose side he or she takes. If either roommate minimizes stealing liquor -- or anything else -- from you, though, I'd consider making other living arrangements. Who needs roommates like that?