I am 70. No other birthday bothered me, but this one scares me. I have always been a busy, creative person and retired (unwillingly) 10 years ago because my husband retired. Now I just do my chores and wait to go back to bed. I am afraid to take on a job, though probably what I need most is to get out of the house and be around others. Our doctor says my husband is "an accident waiting to happen," but if something happens to him, his pension and Social Security go too. I am on Prozac and Xanax and am seeing a therapist. I am drinking more than I should. I do not want to be an alcoholic ... it runs in the family.

D.F.

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist, because that means you already have a good avenue in which to examine possible options and obtain support and guidance in making any changes in your life. While I can mention thoughts that came to mind as I read your question, please keep in mind that your therapist knows you far better than I do, so any suggestions I make should be processed with him or her.

First, I recommend stopping your alcohol consumption. People who are distressed or overwhelmed often drink in attempts to medicate or numb themselves, but such attempts usually backfire. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, and may ultimately worsen your mood. With your family history of alcoholism, you're playing with fire. Also, of course, it's not a good idea to combine alcohol with psychiatric medications.

I suspect the best thing for you to do would be to become more active, whether through a part-time job, volunteer work or hobbies. You mention that you're afraid to take on a job, but it's not clear why. Are you afraid your husband will become ill or die if you're not around? Do you have concerns about re-entering the workforce after a decade's hiatus? Whatever the reasons, discuss them with your therapist and see if you can address your fears. If you haven't already done so, consider checking with Social Security and your husband's former personnel or human resources department (or your financial planner, if you have one) about whether you'll receive any benefits should he die. If your husband has objections to your becoming more active, bring him to some of your therapy sessions (with your therapist's OK) so the two of you can address that problem.

I hope you'll be frank with your therapist about what's going on with you, and set some goals around becoming more active. At some point it may also be helpful to discuss with him or her any other issues you might have about aging and mortality. Good luck.