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Separation anxiety is a common developmental stage in young children’s lives when they become anxious during separations from a parent or other primary caregiver. Separation anxiety can also include fears of being separated from the home. For most children, this phase occurs between the ages of 8 months and 14 months.

During their first six months of life, babies typically have no fear of being separated from their parents as long as the child’s basic needs are being met. Newborn children typically do not fully understand that their parents are unique beings. They are also not frightened by new experiences or situations because they have not yet developed a sense of what is ordinary and what is potentially dangerous.

However, sometime between the ages of 4 months and 7 months, a baby begins to understand that things and people exist even when they are not within sight. This concept is known as object permanence, and it coincides with a child’s growing understanding of their parents or caregivers as unique people.

By the time children are between 8 months and 14 months old, they have developed a sense of what is familiar and safe and may feel threatened when meeting new people or encountering new places. Although children this age feel a growing sense of independence, they remain unsure of themselves and are still dependent on their caregivers. As a result, children may feel fear when separated from parents or primary caregivers in an unfamiliar place.

Parents should not be alarmed when their children enter the phase of separation anxiety. Although it is normal to feel somewhat guilty about leaving children who resist such separations, parents should understand that this stage of development is normal and helps children learn to live within their environment. Usually by age 2, children have learned that parents who are out of sight have not disappeared for good and will eventually return. Around this time, children also learn to trust in people other than their parents.

The timing for when separation anxiety occurs varies substantially from child to child. It can begin as late as 18 months of age and last until the child is 30 months old. Some children never show signs of separation anxiety.

Children who appear to have moved out of the stage of separation anxiety may occasionally regress back to it, particularly during periods of high stress. For this reason, it is important that parents show their children love and support in uncertain or stressful circumstances, such as during hospital visits. For example, parents should offer reassurance that they will not abandon the child and – when separation is necessary – should tell the child exactly where they will be waiting.

Children who continue to experience intense or extreme separation anxiety into preschool or elementary school years may have separation anxiety disorder. In this condition, the child fears being lost from family members and often is convinced that something terrible (such as accidents or illness) is likely to occur during periods of separation.

Separation anxiety disorder tends to form in children who belong to close-knit families. In some cases, it develops after an episode of stress in a child’s life, such as the death of a relative or pet, an illness, or a move to a new neighborhood or school. Research indicates that children who experience separation anxiety disorder are also more likely to develop other mental disorders (e.g., eating disorders) later in life. Separation anxiety disorder usually requires medical attention.

Historically, separation anxiety disorder has been diagnosed in children. However, researchers are currently investigating the prevalence of this disorder in adults, and the relationship between adult separation anxiety disorder and the childhood disorder.