My fiance has been asking me for a year and a half to have anal sex. I finally gave in. He had barely penetrated before I made him stop because it hurt really bad. Ever since then, I've been in pain. It's been over two weeks and it still stings and burns every time I have a bowel movement. I've started using baby wipes instead of toilet paper because they're softer. I've also tried using a stool softener, but it doesn't seem to have done much good. Is it possible that there is an infection? Is there any way I can tell without going to the doctor? Is there anything else I can do at home to help things heal?

-- Rebecca

The tissues of the anus/rectum were not designed for intercourse and are more vulnerable to injury than are vaginal tissues. Certainly if you are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable with any type of sex act, you should not engage in it.

The most likely scenario is that you have an anal tear or fissure. Keeping your stools soft by drinking lots of water and using a stool softener as needed will help promote healing. But because you are still experiencing pain after two weeks, you really should see your doctor. In addition, if there is any blood in or on your stool, your doctor needs to rule out a more serious injury. Also, if your partner has an any sexually transmitted infections, such as genital warts or herpes, you may have been infected; again, your doctor can address this.

Your doctor should be sensitive to your discomfort in discussing anal intercourse; you should not be belittled or ridiculed or made to feel ashamed for engaging in anal sex. Anal sex is not shocking to most physicians.