I think I am having a depression problem, and I don't know what to do about it. I have a small child, and basically the only things I do all day long are take care of him and sit and watch TV and eat. My house is a pigsty, but I have no motivation to get up and clean. When I do tell myself what needs to be done, I forget what I am doing or have blackout spells when I stand up. I am constantly stressed out about everything. I have heard that diet and exercise help with depression, so I tried that, and it made me even more unmotivated. Please help!

Angie

The first thing I recommend is getting a complete physical to see if your depression, memory problems, and blackouts when standing are due to any medical problem. Some medical conditions, such as hypothyroidism, have side effects of depression and exhaustion.

That said, depression can be viewed as a kind of emotional (and physical) state of depletion. While good nutrition and regular exercise CAN help provide the body with good-quality fuel and pump some mood-enhancing endorphins (the body's natural opiates) into the system, they aren't panaceas. That is, they won't cure everything. You may need to nourish yourself in other ways.

Women, often, give so much to others -- children, husband, friends, job -- that they, in a sense, "give out." Exercise or dieting (especially with an eye to weight loss) can feel like an additional burden if it's being done out of a sense of duty rather than because it makes them feel good ... IF it makes them feel good. It doesn't work for everyone. Same with housework.

So my question to you is: What do YOU need to replenish or recharge yourself? What gives you pleasure, joy, relaxation, energy, a "charge" ... whatever it is you seek? If nothing comes immediately to mind, think back on times when you enjoyed your life. What were you doing? What activities or hobbies gave you pleasure? Can you re-engage in them, or try something new? What about arranging for childcare and getting out of the house more often, having some time to yourself or with friends? Participating in a support group for mothers of young children?

If the answers to such questions seem beyond your reach right now, a therapist might help you sort them out and put into action whatever might restore you. Your physician might be able to refer you to a good therapist, if you decide to go that route. Good luck.