A good friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I want to be of great support to her, but do not know where to start, what to do, or what to say. Can you recommend any place she can turn for support groups? Or a book I can give her that will help her deal with the emotional aspects of this situation?

Kathy

One of the first resources I'd check out would be Gilda's Club, the free, nonprofit support organization for people with cancer, their families and friends. Gilda's Club is named after and founded in honor of comedienne and former Saturday Night Live cast member Gilda Radner, who died of ovarian cancer.

Gilda's Club offers a variety of social and emotional support in the form of groups, workshops, classes, etc. You can find out more -- including whether there's a chapter near you (or if not, how to start one) -- by visiting the Gilda's Club website.

If that's not a option, you can call a gynecologist or oncologist's office, or the social services department of a local hospital, and ask if they know of a support group for people with breast cancer, or one for people with all kinds of cancer. You can then provide that information to your friend, but leave it up to her to decide whether or not she wants to participate. Some research has shown that the women who gain the most benefits from breast cancer support groups are those who don't have adequate support in their personal lives. Those who DO have supportive friends and families may do just as well or even better without formal support group participation.

Another option may be for you or your friend to read Speak the Language of Healing: Living with Breast Cancer without Going to War, by Susan Kuner, Carol Matzkin Orsborn, Linda Quigley and Karen Leigh Stroup. The authors are all breast cancer survivors and write from four different spiritual perspectives (Christian, Judaism, Sufism, and 12-step) on how to manage the emotional aspects of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. A portion of the proceeds from each sale goes to breast cancer research. I haven't read the book yet myself, but it's gotten good reviews and sounds worth checking into, particularly for anyone comfortable examining the spiritual aspects of illness.