How to Talk to Your Partner About Birth Control

How to Talk to Your Partner About Birth Control

Talk to your partner about birth control

When you're weighing your contraceptive options, include your partner in the decision-making process. While this discussion might be uncomfortable, it's often best to make a mutual decision and share the responsibility for birth control.

Here are suggestions for talking points with your partner, from nurse midwife Patricia Murphy, Dr.P.H., C.N.M., an associate professor at the University of Utah College of Nursing, and member of the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals' board of directors:

Be prepared: Research your birth control options (their uses, efficacy and side effects). Before you begin the conversation, think about the methods you would consider using, and what you don't want to compromise on.
Practice: Envision how you'd like the conversation to go – how will you start the discussion? What will you say? What end result do you want? Also think about when and where you'll talk to your partner. Ideally you want a private place where you won't be rushed.
Consider lifestyle: Discuss how these methods will fit in to your lifestyle as a couple. For example, will you and your partner find it hard to stop in the middle of sex to get a condom or insert a diaphragm? If so, consider an option that isn’t tied to the time of sex.
Bring up pregnancy: What would it mean to both of you if you got pregnant? If an unplanned pregnancy would be a devastating event, consider using a highly effective birth control method, such as the combined estrogen/progestin pill.
Discuss STDs: Do you and your partner need additional protection against sexually transmitted diseases, such as chlamydia or HIV? Not all birth control methods protect against STDs, but a male latex condom —or polyurethane, if you or your partner are allergic to latex—can protect against them when used consistently and correctly.

If you and your partner can't agree on a birth control method immediately, do more research and make a plan to discuss the topic again, but make sure you use some method of birth control in the meantime.