My grandma lives with us and has Alzheimer's disease. I am 13 and take care of her a lot. I do get paid. I was wondering if these experiences will have a great impact on my life as an adult and if so, how much and would it be good or bad?

--Monica

I believe that all experiences have an impact upon us -- sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. The raw material we bring into the world in the form of genetic and biological factors is shaped by what we experience from cradle to grave.
How taking care of your grandmother will affect your life is hard to predict, though. You might, for instance, learn some important lessons about responsibility and how to make the best of a difficult situation. But even adults can find it terribly hard -- and sad -- to care for a relative whose mental or physical health is declining. It may be hardest on those in your family who are old enough to remember your grandmother when her mind was sharp and when she took an active role in caring for others, rather than being the recipient of care herself. But I bet it's no picnic for you, either.

My main concern is whether, in addition to helping out with your grandmother's care, you have the time and energy left to be a 13-year-old kid ... time to kick back, have fun, socialize with friends, play sports, whatever is normal for you. Adults who were saddled with -- or took upon themselves -- too much responsibility as children and adolescents often find it hard to relax or have fun. They may know more about taking care of other people than about taking care of themselves, and as a result their physical and emotional health can suffer.

Talk to your parents, if you need to, to make sure you have enough breaks from caring for Grandma to allow you to do normal kid stuff. You can also talk to them, or to other adults or relatives you feel comfortable with, about any thoughts or feelings or questions you may have about your grandmother's condition. Good luck.