Parents or caregivers should remain calm when a child is having a temper tantrum. If a parent shakes, spanks or screams at a child in the midst of a tantrum, the tantrum will probably worsen. Instead, parents should lead by example and control their emotions to the best of their ability.

The first step in stopping a temper tantrum is firmly asking the child to stop acting out. If this request is ineffective, parents should pause for 30 seconds to determine the next best course of action. There are four additional ways to handle a temper tantrum. They include:

• Distracting the child. Parents can attempt to shift the focus of the child’s attention. For instance, if a child has a tantrum when a parent takes away an unsafe object, the parent should provide the child with a safer item. This method is especially effective with toddlers.
  
  
• Removing the child from the situation. Parents can attempt to take the child to a quiet, isolated area to calm down. This discipline technique is commonly known as a “time-out.” If the tantrum occurs at home, the child may be taken to his or her bedroom. If it occurs in a public place (e.g., grocery store) the child may be taken outside or to sit in the car. However, a child should never be left alone or unattended in a public place.
  
  Time-outs generally last for a specific time period according to the child’s age (typically one minute per year with a five-minute maximum). If the child tries to leave the designated location before the specified time period or refuses to quiet down, the time-out begins again.
  
  
• Ignoring the child. As children become older, they may have tantrums to gain attention from parents. Parents can attempt to ignore the child and continue with their normal routine. If parents are uncomfortable witnessing the tantrum, they can leave the general area or distract themselves in another manner (e.g., turn on the television).
  
  
• Holding the child. Parents can attempt to physically restrain children if they are acting in a manner that may be potentially harmful to themselves or others (e.g., hitting, kicking). Parents should attempt to be as gentle and reassuring as possible and let the child know that they recognize that they are angry and will hold them until they calm down. Children become frightened when they cannot control their emotions, and many find this approach to be comforting.

It is very important for parents to allow children an adequate cooling-down period before attempting to discuss the tantrum. It is very difficult to try to reason with children who are not in control of their emotions. After a sufficient period of time has passed, parents should discuss the tantrum with their child and teach alternate ways to handle such situations in the future. Preschool- and school-age children can learn the following skills:

• How to ask others for assistance
  
  
• When to go somewhere else to gain control over their emotions
  
  
• How to try to accomplish their goal in another manner
  
  
• How to verbalize their feelings instead of acting out physically

Parents should not reward a child after a tantrum by giving in to their requests. Rather, parents should praise the child for regaining composure. In addition, children learn by watching their parents. Adults who have adequate control over their own behavior and approach problems without emotional outbursts provide good models for children to emulate.