The Goddess of Happiness on Putting Yourself First

By:
Debbie Gisonni

Dear Goddess of Happiness,
I run my own fashion business, but I've found that I have no time for myself. I am constantly trying to keep my company afloat and have trouble balancing my personal life with the desire to make my business work. What can I do?
‑-Vanessa, Los Angeles

Dear Vanessa,
Running your own business does eat up a lot of time, but overworking is no fun. Goddesses need time to play! One thing you can start doing right away is to schedule personal time every day or every week and commit to taking it. Think of it as a business meeting, but do something enjoyable ‑- go to a spa, shop or relax at the beach. As for your business, contact your local college and offer an internship for a personal assistant or any other position that would free up some of your time. The fashion business should attract a lot of interested parties who would work just for the experience. Maybe you also have a relative or friend who can help out in exchange for a share in your business or a discount on your products. The time away from work will allow you to relax, and when you're relaxed, you open space for new ideas for your business.

Dear Goddess of Happiness,
It seems like every day someone is asking me to help her with something. I am a giver, and sometimes I don't know when to say no and end up running around like crazy. How can I help my friends but remain true to what I need for myself?
‑-Nikki, Tustin, California

Dear Nikki,
Giving to others is one of the great pleasures that give our lives meaning, so I commend you for your unselfish support of friends. But, in order to keep helping others, you need time to replenish your own spirit and take care of your needs. Kind of like filling your own "love" well. When someone asks you for a favor, instead of immediately saying "yes," ask her if you could check your calendar and get back to her, and tell her when you'll do that ‑- in an hour, tomorrow, whatever seems appropriate. That way, you can give yourself a chance to truly know if you have the time to help. If you can, great, do it. If not, honestly explain that you need the time to take care of your personal stuff. Love yourself first, and you'll have lots of love to give to others.

Dear Goddess of Happiness,
I have lots of friends and a very busy job and home life. I keep getting into jams with people competing for my time. Sometimes I have to choose between one friend's invitation and another's, and hurt feelings ensue. How can I keep everyone ‑- including myself ‑- happy?
‑-Marcy, San Francisco

Dear Marcy,
What a great problem to have ‑- too many friends! While you sound like a wonderful friend, you can't please everyone and yourself at the same time ‑- unless you throw one gigantic party! When you're invited somewhere, and you're already booked, just be honest and explain the conflict. I'm sure she would understand that you're only being as good a friend as she would expect you to be toward her if you had committed to her invite first. Maybe you can come up with another date right then and mark your calendars. Juggling is difficult even for the best of goddesses. You can't enjoy any of the balls if you keep moving them all at the same time!