I live with bipolar disorder -- mostly controlled with some breakthrough episodes, but no hospitalizations for almost 10 years. I see a psychiatrist as needed and a therapist weekly. I would like to cut that therapy down to every other week. My therapist says "No." How does one get a good handle on the amount of countertransference going on in a therapeutic relationship?

-- Elizabeth

I bet many readers don't know that the psychoanalytic concept of "transference" -- referring to the feelings about significant others in a client's past that the client "transfers" to his or her therapist -- has a counterpart for therapists that's called "countertransference." Countertransference refers to the therapist's feelings about the client that stem from the therapist's own life experiences and issues. It's the baggage the therapist brings into the therapy session, so to speak.

Good therapists are able to limit their countertransference and its effect upon therapy. (Notice I don't say that they don't experience countertransference at all, because even the best therapists are human.)

If you suspect that your therapist's attitude toward you or the frequency of sessions is based on your therapist's emotional needs rather than your own, one possibility is to discuss that with your therapist. If you think he or she wants to continue meeting weekly because he or she has fond or even romantic feelings for you, say so, and ask if it's true. As I'm sure you know, it's unethical for a therapist to use a client or client's therapy sessions to meet his or her own needs, other than the therapist's need to earn a living by charging and collecting a fee. (And it's also inappropriate for a therapist to schedule more sessions than a client needs or wants just to get the money.)

A good therapist will calmly process your questions and acknowledge and address any part of his or her behavior that might be countertransferential. He or she may also tell you specifically why he or she feels meeting every other week is inadvisable. An example of such an explanation (and this is just an example, not necessarily a factor in your case) might be a gentle reminder that you tend to deteriorate emotionally when you don't meet weekly.