Sometimes I feel the need to hit someone, for no apparent reason. I am angry for no reason, and I can't get a grip on my emotions. I am usually a very "in control" woman. I had violent tendencies in adolescence, but I thought those problems were dealt with. Now, suddenly, I'll feel not just an urge but a NEED to physically hit, punch or otherwise hurt something. I know this sounds awful, but I don't know who to talk to or what to do.

B.B.

I commend your awareness of the problem you're experiencing with anger and potential violence, and your willingness to seek help. I'll mention some books you might check out, but I hope you'll also consider consulting with a psychologist or other therapist for more personal support and guidance. It also wouldn't hurt to get a complete physical checkup to make sure there is no medical reason for your change.

You mention that you've felt a sudden resurgence of anger and violent urges after a period in which those feelings were quiescent. I wonder if anything in your life has recently changed, possibly setting off these angry and violent feelings. Are you having any problems or difficulties at work or in your personal relationships? Are you experiencing any more stress than usual, or has chronic stress built up to create a sense of being overwhelmed or trapped? When we're physically and emotionally depleted, we have less energy to cope with even minor stressors or problems, and we are more likely to fly off the handle at things that normally wouldn't disturb us. Feeling trapped can also trigger urges to fight. People who grew up in violent environments may be especially prone to lashing out (or wanting to do so) when feeling trapped.

If you think stress may be part of the problem, it may help you to put some stress reduction and management strategies into effect as soon as possible. That means cutting back, where possible, on overwork; making sure you're eating a balanced diet (by all means, though, not for weight loss -- restricting what you eat can make you even more irritable); getting enough sleep, rest and exercise; and doing something pleasurable and relaxing on a daily basis. And do consider talking with a psychologist or other mental health professional who has expertise in anger management.