Can you tell me what causes vaginal dryness during sex? I do get excited, but even if I climax I become dry soon thereafter. I'd appreciate any help. -- J

Dear J:

Vaginal dryness can certainly spoil a sexual experience and may eventually erode even the best sexual relationship. I am glad to know that at least you do reach your climax, or orgasmic peak. That's a sign that your body does indeed know how to become aroused, which is a normal part of the process for stimulating sexual lubrication in females.

You don't say how old you are, but if you're in the target age range for the midlife shift, that may be what's causing your problem. One of the common complaints of women who are going through peri-menopause (or who are post-menopausal) is vaginal dryness, which could be the result of lowered estrogen levels. Adding estrogens, either through prescription supplements or natural, possibly soy-based alternatives, can often remedy that condition, so ask your physician or gynecologist to assess your levels. Further, The Menopause Cookbook by Ricciotti and Connelly can recommend ways to add estrogen to your diet naturally.

Another frequent cause of vaginal dryness is lack of adequate arousal. Some women report having difficulty sustaining the excitement phase of the sexual response cycle. Most women need intermittent touching or other forms of stimulation to maintain healthy and ample arousal and wetness. This could be in the form of breast caressing, rubbing of the clitoral area, deep kissing, eye contact or the sound of a partner's sexy voice.

If the problem persists, you may want to add a lubricant to the lovemaking process. I recommend using all-natural products (such as essential oils made for this purpose) and Kama Sutra oils, as well as common lubricants such as Erogel, Probe and Astroglide. Another option is Replens, a well-regarded vaginal lube that seems to have higher viscosity. Finally, you may want to explore Allurex, a safe and natural homeopathic product that I like (available at www.allurex.com or from my site, www.yoursexcoach,com), and that many women attest has dramatically increased their wetness. I use it and think it's the cat's meow!